Have you ever worried that you don’t measure up? Do you feel like your ability to do all of the things falls far short of the expectations of your friends, family, boss, or society in general? You are not alone. Especially within the chronic illness community, humans spend a great deal of time worrying about how they are viewed by others. Also, especially in the chronic illness community, they are often right, they are not meeting ALL of the expectations of others, but seriously, how could they? Have you taken a look at the size of that list lately?
Spoiler alert, you will never, even on the very best of days be able to be exactly who everyone needs you to be. If tomorrow you woke and your illness had magically disappeared, trust me when I assure you, you would still without a doubt be an odd disappointment and failure by someone’s standards. But wait, there is hope…because guess what? You don’t have to meet any standards you didn’t set for yourself, and even those are negotiable.
You are battling your body daily, doing the best you can to do the things you have decided are important. There is no time or energy left for worrying if your mother-in-law thinks you are lazy and don’t know how to clean. I mean, she probably does, but who cares, mothers-in-law are notoriously displeased, don’t sweat it. You could hire a secret team of maids and she’d still find a way to pick you apart, some people are just like that. (Not my mother-in-law mind you, I’m one of the lucky ones, but I have heard the horror stories!)
Whether it is your in-laws, your spouse, boss, co-worker, or that annoying lady at school drop off who always seems to know exactly what everyone else should be doing, you are under no obligation to please anyone. Will they sometimes wonder why you do the things you do? You bet, and you will likely often wonder why in the world they do the things they do as well.
Life is too short to worry that others think you are not enough. You are enough. Even in whatever cracked form you find yourself in today. You are enough. Perfectly imperfect just the way you are, flaws and all.
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